Teens
I remember when my first dauther turned into a teenage....almost everyone started giving me condolences, which I took offense to. How unfair to judge a person simply by their age without even meeting them. And why do they get such a bad rap? Why do we think that teens chose to be misunderstood. Who of us would want to even remember that part of our lives not to mention re-live them.
We, as parents, give them the impression that they are 'mini-adults'. With phrases like 'you whould know better', 'you're older, try to be more patient' and 'I shouldn't have to tell you to clean your room anymore'. But when they try to exert some of that independence we reel them back in and try to remind them whose boss. And those are just some of the pressures within the family home. Can we even start to list the many influences that are thrust on teens from all angles? Now I'm not saying that we didn't have it rough in our day but with just the media alone they are exposed to so much more than we ever were. I have both a computer and a TV in my home but because I work outside the home I put parental controls on both. It's not to keep my daughters from tuning to channels or websites that are not appropriate for them but to keep what todays society deems appropriate for them. Teens are exposed to what adults are being exposed to without proper education and the maturity needed to filter the material they are hit with at a rapid-fire speed.
And then there is SCHOOL! Oh my goodness, don't even get me started! When my oldest was finishing her freshman year she begged me to let her go to Silverado, a continuation school in the district. I told her kids don't aspire to go there, however, because of all the ridiculous, exagerated, dramatic behavior that she witnessed and the tempermental mood swings that happened around her that was all she wanted to do. I begged her to get into a club, which she did and had a pretty normal and, yes, happy finish. Then my second daughter entered high school. And not only have the commercials gotten more risque but with the technological advances she has to deal with Ipods and text messaging going on in the classroom. Well, let's just say that we've decided to do education in a different format then traditional schooling.
Another big mistake I see that happens, especially with boys, is that parents think they no longer want to be bothered with 'family stuff' so when mom and dad and the younger ones are going to the mall to find shoes for little Timmy the teens are staying home. Or worse, allowed to go 'hang out' with no supervision. So what the teen now thinks is not only that mom and dad don't want them to be around but that they don't care anymore to monitor their comings and going. So if mom and dad don't care anymore why should they and their self value starts a decline. Well, I don't care how much they moan and groan about having to do 'family stuff' drag them anyway, you'll both be happier in the long run.
So, I guess in closing what I'm trying to say is wherever you are, whatever you are doing stop, get on your knees and pray! Pray for the teens in your home, the ones at school, those who go to church and are still trying to figure out why and even for those teens you don't know. And the next time you run into a teen talk to them, try to chat with them. They might be shocked at first that an adult is talking to them and showing an interest and you'll probably just get a 1 to 3 word answer but maybe they'll remember that and think that someone actually does care and you'll eventually start having some pretty amazing conversations. But I caution you, no matter what they tell you, don't ever be shocked with what they say, they may never share anything else with you again.
Oh, and one more thing, don't make the mistake that I did, those teens that you stop to talk with, start with the teens in your own home.
I remember when my first dauther turned into a teenage....almost everyone started giving me condolences, which I took offense to. How unfair to judge a person simply by their age without even meeting them. And why do they get such a bad rap? Why do we think that teens chose to be misunderstood. Who of us would want to even remember that part of our lives not to mention re-live them.
We, as parents, give them the impression that they are 'mini-adults'. With phrases like 'you whould know better', 'you're older, try to be more patient' and 'I shouldn't have to tell you to clean your room anymore'. But when they try to exert some of that independence we reel them back in and try to remind them whose boss. And those are just some of the pressures within the family home. Can we even start to list the many influences that are thrust on teens from all angles? Now I'm not saying that we didn't have it rough in our day but with just the media alone they are exposed to so much more than we ever were. I have both a computer and a TV in my home but because I work outside the home I put parental controls on both. It's not to keep my daughters from tuning to channels or websites that are not appropriate for them but to keep what todays society deems appropriate for them. Teens are exposed to what adults are being exposed to without proper education and the maturity needed to filter the material they are hit with at a rapid-fire speed.
And then there is SCHOOL! Oh my goodness, don't even get me started! When my oldest was finishing her freshman year she begged me to let her go to Silverado, a continuation school in the district. I told her kids don't aspire to go there, however, because of all the ridiculous, exagerated, dramatic behavior that she witnessed and the tempermental mood swings that happened around her that was all she wanted to do. I begged her to get into a club, which she did and had a pretty normal and, yes, happy finish. Then my second daughter entered high school. And not only have the commercials gotten more risque but with the technological advances she has to deal with Ipods and text messaging going on in the classroom. Well, let's just say that we've decided to do education in a different format then traditional schooling.
Another big mistake I see that happens, especially with boys, is that parents think they no longer want to be bothered with 'family stuff' so when mom and dad and the younger ones are going to the mall to find shoes for little Timmy the teens are staying home. Or worse, allowed to go 'hang out' with no supervision. So what the teen now thinks is not only that mom and dad don't want them to be around but that they don't care anymore to monitor their comings and going. So if mom and dad don't care anymore why should they and their self value starts a decline. Well, I don't care how much they moan and groan about having to do 'family stuff' drag them anyway, you'll both be happier in the long run.
So, I guess in closing what I'm trying to say is wherever you are, whatever you are doing stop, get on your knees and pray! Pray for the teens in your home, the ones at school, those who go to church and are still trying to figure out why and even for those teens you don't know. And the next time you run into a teen talk to them, try to chat with them. They might be shocked at first that an adult is talking to them and showing an interest and you'll probably just get a 1 to 3 word answer but maybe they'll remember that and think that someone actually does care and you'll eventually start having some pretty amazing conversations. But I caution you, no matter what they tell you, don't ever be shocked with what they say, they may never share anything else with you again.
Oh, and one more thing, don't make the mistake that I did, those teens that you stop to talk with, start with the teens in your own home.
posted by Helena Halter at 10:42 PM
1 Comments:
Helena, Teens is a good post. Now, in 3 months it will be a year since you posted to Helena's world. Just thought I would tell you that I want you to write.
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